Kalau Disney Princess Punya Ibu

Personally saya suka banget film-film Disney apalagi yang tokoh utamanya Princess. Dari Cinderella sampai Belle. Love ‘em all. But Bunmi point of view surely give me a new perspective about these Princesses.

Menurut Bunmi, Disney membenci para ibu. Dengan alasan, kenapa nggak pernah ada tokoh ibu di setiap kartun Disney yang tokoh utamanya perempuan. Coba simak kutipan berikut, “Why else would their animated motion pictures routinely feature a hot carefree but directionless 20-something (I want to see some I.D., some of these girls look like busty teens) whose ambitions for adventure are abruptly transformed into an obsession with a man she barely knows? Sounds like a douche-bag's dream and every mother and father's worst nightmare.”

Could any of these women have made the horrible life choices they happily did if they'd had a mom to tell them the truth? Absolutely freaking not.

Bunmi pun menuliskan secuil adegan dari beberapa film, dan menyelipkan cerita dimana si tokoh utama alias Princess masih punya ibu dan berdialog dengan ibu mereka.

If They'd Had Mothers: Jasmine

Princess Jasmine runs into the lavishly decorated sun room where her mother is ordering rubies online. "Mom. I met someone," she squeals.

Jasmine's mother looks up from the screen with pity in her eyes and pats the cashmere cushion beside her, beckoning her young beauty to have a seat. "Your father told me."

With her hands clasped together excitedly, Jasmine sighs deeply before continuing, "I think we're in love...".

"You're in love with a homeless man who lives in an alley with his pet monkey?" She shakes her head.

Hot anger pumps through Jasmine's veins as she jumps up. "You never take anything I do seriously!"

"What have you done? You were sent home from boarding school for insolence, the tiger you insisted on having has killed three of our best servants...you think being a rich hottie of a Middle Eastern girl with an attitude makes you special? Visit the San Fernando Valley. Dime a dozen, honey. You need to work on the inside." With that she touches Jasmine's heart.

Jasmine bats her mother's hand away. "You don't know anything. He writes me music. We rode his magic carpet."

"You got high and sang a duet, big deal. I hope you were smart enough to use protection when you had sex in his rooftop shack because you probably have crabs now. Congratulations. Look, if you really want to play Barbarian Roulette with your inheritance and live with his mother, baby's mama, and four kids in your wing of the palace, that's up to you."

Suddenly the young woman is speechless.

Her mom continues, "That's right. I did some research. Homebody hasn't been straight up."

"But the genie said...".

"Genies lie, darling. But mother's don't. I love you and want to see you make something of your life."

"Aladdin said I could trust him..."

"First of all, his real name is Mubarak. Second, you've known him for a weekend. Get a grip."

Jasmine sinks down onto the couch. Big, hot tears begin to slide down her face making a puddle on her light blue transparent Hammer pants. She blows her nose into the hair of a waiting slave girl. "OK, what now?"

"First, we'll have him killed. Make an example. Then we get you the morning after pill."

Jasmine nods.

"Then, first thing tomorrow we're meeting with an academic counselor. No daughter of mine is going to grow up to be some crazy man's harem dummy/"goddess."

Jasmine throws her arms around her mother and they embrace. "Thanks mommy."

"Anything for you. By the way, we had Rajah put down last night."

Bagaimana menurutmu?